No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
