Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
