Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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