i don't plan on having that self control this summer
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize