check it out our google latitudes are spooning
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
