Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
