So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
