Pants 0. Shit 1.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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