But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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