yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
