every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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