But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
dude. I can hear the air.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
