dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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