I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
