Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
