I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize