i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
