I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
