I'm so fucking centered right now
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
