Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
