this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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