people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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