whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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