He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Randomize
