she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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