You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Operation Purity has been aborted
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
