Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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