shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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