So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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