Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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