no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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