If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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