I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
