i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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