My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
how drunk are you?
Several
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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