I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
