If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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