Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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