I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
soo... how was my night?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
