Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize