You're completely useless in the revolution.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
