Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize