And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize