I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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