sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
