You smell like stripper and shame
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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