I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
