..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize