So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well I just put wine in my tea
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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