mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
