Your mouth is God's brothel.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
