you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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