We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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