I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
