Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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