I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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