my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize