just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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