people are starting to question the shark bite story
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
