Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
