I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
