I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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