If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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