it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
