dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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