College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
