I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
