Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
