All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
