hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize